Do you ever feel like you can never change? You either try to implement a new habit or behavior or to stop one. You feel like you have struggled for so long, years maybe and just don’t seem to be making any progress. You take steps forward just to take those same steps back. My example for my struggles recently that brought on these thoughts was no goal to not yell at my kids anymore. I feel like it doesn’t matter how hard I try and struggle and read about how to stop and what to do instead, my temper gets the better of me. I am sick of going to bed thinking of how terrible I treated the dear sweet spirits I love so much. I want so much for them and yet here I yell at them nearly every day. But I know that progress can be made. We are not set in stone. Even if you have a habit or trait that has been a problem for years you CAN change.
Here are some tips I have learned or picked up over the years that help. 1. Make tiny totally achievable goals. Make them so small they are what some would call ‘stupid easy’. But they still need to be in the right direction. Slowly they will add up over time. It is important to make them so small because the less resistance the easier your brain has at actually doing them. If you try to overhaul too much it is not sustainable. I know one person who started with flossing just ONE tooth. That is it! Then once that is down, move on to two teeth. Make is so easy and simple that it is almost silly. And laugh while you are at it. It is good for you. For my dear sis-in-law, she cannot get up in the mornings. For her I would say to just set the alarm for ONE minute earlier than what she is doing now.
2. Stack Habits. If it is a habit, tack it behind something you already do. This is a way to make sure it gets done. If you have to carve out time then you are less likely to do it. But if you are already doing something every day and you do your new habit right after then it is more likely to happen more regularly. A common thing we all do every day is eat. Three times a day for most of us! So look, three chances to try your new habit! I have heard of a push up every time he went to the bathroom. I used to do 10 squats while I washed and rinsed my face in the shower. (That is probably TMI BUT I got up to 100 squats during a shower so BOOM!) So find something you do on a regular basis that you can tack your new habit behind.
3. Set yourself up for success. If you KNOW you can’t resist chocolate, don’t have it in the house! That’s a no brainer. For my sis-in-law, maybe it is go to bed earlier or have something to help wake up like a glass of water next to the bed to drink, or have your spouse dump on your head! For me, if I hear the kids starting to fight I try to intercept and if I can remember I will play with them, or start a dance party or something to lighten the mood. Look at where you start to derail and see if you can catch it before or find a way to alleviate the symptoms.
4. Track your progress. Find a way to mark and see that you are in fact moving forward. Even if it is tiny it is progress. It is almost better that it go slower because it is more likely to stick. Some things may be harder to track because of their nature, like a behavior for example. Track each encounter, not just the overall day, unless that’s part of it. For me, it would be looking at each conflict with a child and looking how I handled it. Did I yell? Did I stop and breathe? Did I help them to fix the problem themselves? I was tracking just if I yelled at the end of the day and was getting discouraged. But if I look at each encounter I can tally up a bit better.
5. Debrief. Ask yourself at the end of the day, after the encounter, or whenever you think about it/can – What went well? What did I do RIGHT? And then think, what could I have done better? It is not enough or healthy to just beat yourself up thinking of only the bad that you did. Pat yourself on the back for ANY achievement you accomplished but then it is SUPER important to brainstorm what is preventing you from success and how can you overcome. If something isn’t working don’t keep trying it expecting change! Stop and think of what you could do to help you be better. Problem solve!
6. Ask for help!! There are MANY ways to do this. All the way from a friend or even someone you have never met in a Facebook group as an accountability partner to hiring professional help. Sometimes we don’t SEE our progress. Tracking helps this but we still might miss somethings. I recognized this once with a conflict with my children. I started to yell from across the room and got up and helped them walk through a problem. I got done and my husband who had watched the whole thing complemented me on how well I handled it. He said it was better than what he would have done. In the moment I didn’t feel like I handled it well but after he pointed it out and I could stop and think about it I was able to say, Hey, yeah!
a. Not only may we not see it but we are also too hard on ourselves and not completely honest with ourselves. Having outside help helps us to see more clearly or progress
7. Pray. Remember that it is not by your own merits that you make change or progress. Remember that any true change is done through Jesus Christ. Remember pray and ask for His help and Grace. He has been there and knows you better than you know yourself. He can either show you what is holding you back, what can help you step forward or even break the shackles that are binding you. Call on Him. He is the true Way to have lasting change and peace.
So what are you going to start working on? Comment below and tell me your struggles and which tip you are going to implement. Do you have any other tips? Has something helped you? Share it below!
Often we get into a state of overwhelm where it just feels like you are failing at everything or that there is just so much going on and stressed that you cannot do it all. As moms we often live in it way more than we should because we just give of ourselves day in and day out and don't feel like we have time to even stop and think of how to get out. Well, I have ten ideas of what you can do to climb out of that overwhelm and stress. We often feel that because there is so much wrong we need to overhaul everything or work on all the fires at once. Don't feel like you have to do everything on this list either! Just pick one or two that stick out to you and do them. Don't just read the list and think they sound like good ideas (hopefully good and not bad) and not actually do something.
1. Pray
You may or may not be a religious person. (If not skip to #3.) This should be a given that you would turn to Him for help but we need not forget that He knows you and your situation and is just waiting to reach out and help. Elder Lawrence has a great talk about asking What lack I yet? and the Holy Ghost telling you one small thing to work on next. He said
"The Holy Ghost doesn’t tell us to improve everything at once. If He did, we would become discouraged and give up. The Spirit works with us at our own speed, one step at a time, or as the Lord has taught, “line upon line, precept upon precept, … and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, … for unto him that receiveth I will give more.”
This is a great talk! He has many examples of small things that came as an answer to prayers. As simple as clean your room, say thank you more, clean up your language, or don't interrupt people while they are talking. You don't have to overhaul everything. That leads to burnout and failure and discouragement, just like he said. But do something. One small step forward. One step in front of the other that leads to momentum and change. And they are more likely to stick for real lasting change which is what we want. To be a little better every day.
We learn in the scriptures that even if TERRIBLE things happen to us that they are good because they give us experience. When we have this perspective we can stop asking "Why me?" or "Why now?" and change it to "What am I supposed to learn from this?" A fun way to feel better in the moment or try to see the good is to play the Glad game from Pollyanna. She is able to look at any situation and find SOMETHING to be glad about. My son has gotten really good at this and reminds me to be glad. Try it next time something is going wrong or look and see what you are learning in this hardship.
3. Ask for help! Or Delegate
Don't feel any less if you need help! Don't be afraid to ask for help! It can be someone to watch the kids while you sleep because we all know we are all lacking on sleep. To do the dishes, pick up the kids so you can finish a project. Maybe someone can teach you a skill that would help make life easier like meal planning or budgeting. Maybe just some advise for the kid who won't stop biting. Maybe you can delegate some tasks to the older kids or spouse. You don't HAVE to do it ALL because, I hate to break it to you, but you can't. And that is ok. And the sooner you realize it and are ok with it the better.
I have heard it said that if you are making mistakes then it shows that you are trying, which is a great thing!! But I think that if you are overwhelmed it means you are doing too much, which is not a good thing. So ask for help or delegate it to someone else.
4. Talk it out with a friend
Kind of dove tailing off the last one, sometimes it helps to just talk out loud. Hand and Hand Parenting use Listening Partnerships to help with parenting but I think this works with life in general! It helps to get it out. But don't just get into a circle by only complaining or feeling worse and worse. But listen for themes of something that connects problems and see if there is something that you could do that would help a few things with one or two changes. Maybe you can't think because you are so tired and the kids are fighting and things are crazy at the end of the day. Hmmm... maybe everyone needs to go to bed earlier.
Also, if your friend has some advise, listen!! It might not be exactly what you are looking for but having an outside perspective might help you to come up with some ideas as well. And who knows, the advise might be just what you need. When you are running on empty it is hard to think clearly and they are on the outside looking in and sees things differently and maybe more clearly.
5. List it out
I am a HUGE lover of lists and writing and all things pen and paper. Try taking a pen to paper and make a list of all the things. What is bringing you down, too hard for you, stressing you out? It might be daunting and overwhelming to think of them all (but don't ignore them or run away from them) but seeing them all you might be able to to group them together and see if something could help. Also, you might be able to group some things and turn them into projects. See if there are any that can wait and not worry about right now. Hopefully seeing things broken down into projects will help them seem more manageable. Either way, getting everything out of your brain helps to free up some bandwidth.
Another benefit to listing things out and seeing it all out on paper might be that you realize that you need to stop throwing water to put out the fire because you see that you are actually dealing with a flood. Be clear on what you are dealing with so that you know the next step to work on rather than just blindly going through your day.
6. Break it Down with 5 Whys
In the book The Bullet Journal Method, Ryder Carroll references a method of getting to the bottom of a problem. You start with the problem but then ask Why 5 times to get to the reason behind it all. In doing so you might be able to find that illusive solution that has you stumped. But actually write them down. There is something magical that happens when you put pen to paper. It can be formatted in list form 1-5 or you can just scribble and get your thoughts out on paper and see what you discover. You might also find out why you are doing something in that particular why and that might be what is holding you back and you can let things go or rewrite how you do, see, or feel about things.
I get frustrated that I can't get anything done. Why?
Because I spend all day cleaning! Why?
Because the kids won't pick up after themselves. Why?
Because there are too many toys and they don't know where they all go. Why?
There isn't a clear system the kids know and use.
So then you might choose to declutter and get rid of toys and set up bins with pictures on them. Then show the kids where things go and show them what cleaned and picked up looks like. It might seem like a lot of up front work but you might be getting hours back in your day.
7. Reflect
Take a few minutes to think back to a time when things were going well. The more recent the better because of course when you had less kids things were easier but we can't recreate that right now. What was going well and why? What can you do to recreate that? Were you going to bed earlier? In the middle of a really inspirational book? Journaling before bed? Less screens (for you or your kids)? Try something that you know helps you that you aren't doing now. Or stop something.
8. Systems and Routines
I cannot sing of this enough! Being able to put things on auto pilot helps with decision fatigue. I know many people put up a fight when it comes to this because they don't want to be held down by a schedule and I TOTALLY get that. I denied a job offer because I liked choosing when I work and when I spend time with my family. And kids might be great with something one day and flying off the handle the next day, or even the next minute. But hear me out!! Having a general idea of when you will focus on what or when you go where is a HUGE help! Knowing that I will work on a project in the afternoon lets me focus on the kids in the morning rather then getting distracted all day trying to squeeze it in all day but never being present with the kids or getting progress on the project.
Also, having an order to things like bedtime is so helpful for the kids as well. They will start doing what is next because they know what comes next and transitions are smoother and less fighting. Our bedtime Routine is at 7 pm we Clean up, PJs, brush teeth, scriptures and prayer, bedtime stories. Then they will get in bed and I will read from a chapter book until 8:30. So they know what comes next if I am working with another kid what they can be doing and also that the faster they go the more chapter book they will get because I am pretty firm on the cut off time.
9. Can you change it?
There is the idea of the circle of control. There are things in your control, like your actions, words, attitude, beliefs. And then there are things outside of your control, the weather, other's words or actions, etc. Ask yourself if what you are stressed about is in your control or not. Can you change it? Do you have any control over it? If not, then let it go or learn how you can deal with it to the best of your ability. Sometimes the only thing you can do is change how you respond to the situation. You can choose to be happy or miserable. That is something within your circle of control.
10. Put your blinders on!
You have got to stop comparing!! Do NOT get on Pinterest, Instagram, or Facebook when you are feeling down on yourself. I know you want to ignore everything and escape to the 'feel good' of social media but it will make you feel WORSE!! Instead, find a more useful escape like a good book or podcast, one that gets you motivated or inspired. Or try putting on some fun dance music and dance it out, or at least listen to some good comforting music.
BONUS! Express Gratitude
Whenever we find ourselves stressed and overwhelmed we tend to forget to look at all the things that are actually going right. Sometimes all it takes is stopping and counting our blessings. Maybe start a running list and name all the things you can or start a gratitude log and at the end of the day or first thing in the morning write 1-3 things you are grateful for and try not to repeat, get creative. But mostly use this as a way to feel for a moment that everything, in fact, is not falling apart. Remember all that you do have or can do enjoy it for a moment.
Now I am sure you noticed a theme of writing something down. It is powerful when you take the time to write something on paper. Your brain makes connections and firings that it doesn't normally. It helps you remember things better and it tells yourself that this thing is important and allows your brain to really think about something more likely to find a solution. Or gives it a break from the constant go go go. So though you might not think you have the time to sit and write, don't discount it.
Also, don't feel like you have to do all of these. Some might work better than others for different people. Maybe talking it out with a friend will help you more than writing it out or vice versa. Just pick one or two. But know that I am here for you! And if not me I know you have someone that is more than willing to help you.
Know that this is just a time and a season and this too shall pass.
We all know we should read more. It has been said that the average CEO reads 61 books a year, attends 6 conferences a year and makes an average of 300% more money a year!! Those statistics are hard to ignore! How many books do you read a year? 61? 30? 5? Any? On average, reports say average readers read about 5-10 books a year while super readers can be up around 80.
I am sure you want to read more. You like to read, or maybe you don’t; however, the more you read that will change. But there are so many demands on your life. You might have littles pulling on you to play, feed, change, or clean up after. You might work long, hard days and just want to veg when you get home. Maybe you have general hubbub going on in life that it isn’t even on your radar to read. Well, no matter your position in life, there are ways for you to add reading into your life.
Audiobooks!!! You knew this was coming right? I LOVE Audible! And I am sure you and everyone you know has an account already. Right! Right? If not, it is FREE to have an account. You can buy books right out to have forever or exchange if you decide you don’t like it. Or you can subscribe and get a varying number of credits to apply to ANY book a month. The normal plan is a credit a month but there is a secret plan that gets you one credit every other month so you can start small without forking out a lot of money.
There are also free books on Libravox with varying quality. Free is free so you get what you pay for but, free is free.
Also, your library has audio books. Of course there are the discs or playaways available but you can also probably use Overdrive, or whatever their app is to get it straight to your phone.
Wake up earlier. I know, sleep might be a hot commodity but it doesn’t have to be much earlier. Even 10 minutes a day can add up. If you are more of a morning person you can try waking up just a few minutes earlier to start the day of with fresh ideas or some self-care. I love when I can do a morning routine and get some reading in. It sets me in a good mood and I can be a better mom to my kids.
Go to bed later. This one is probably easier for some. Not for me, I usually fall asleep with the kids. For others though, instead of checking Facebook for that time and invest in yourself!
Tack it behind something. Habits are more likely to develop when they follow something you are already doing or even before. Can you arrive 10 minutes before picking up kids and read in the car? Maybe you could listen to a book while you get ready for the day.
Waiting. Doctor’s appointment, dentist appointment, waiting for the soccer game to start. We all have times when we are waiting for something and find ourselves scrolling Facebook while we wait. Use that valuable time! Fill those cracks with something to grow yourself!
Ditch Social Media/find trigger and change it, move icons, delete apps if necessary. Have you sensed a trend? Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and all the other soul sucking social media apps gotta go! Instead of opening an app and comparing yourself or getting depressed, grow and be better by reading! If you have a book on your phone, great! Make the app you use easy to see and get to. Move the other apps away so you don’t see them or they are harder to get to like putting them into a folder on the farthest page.
Read multiple books at a time. I love this trick for so many reasons. I personally have books scattered all over my house so that depending where I am I have a book close at hand. There is a book on my couch so when I am nursing a baby and there is an open 2 minutes I can get in a page or two. There is one in my bedroom for before bed. I am considering a book in the kitchen.
The other reason to read multiple books at a time is that if you are not in the mood for one book then you might be as inclined to pick it up. But if you have 2 or 3 going at a time you are more likely to have something for any mood. I find having an easier or lighter read going with a deeper read is a good mix. Some say that a fiction and a non-fiction is a good idea as well.
Always have a book with you!!! I cannot stress this enough. Never leave the house without a book! It was kind of touched on in the last one but also bring a book with you when you go out of the house too! Every time I think I won’t have time to read a book on the errand I am running, I find myself wishing I had a book. If you have it on your phone then it is probably on you, just remember #6.
Join a book club or Facebook group. Even if you can’t keep up with the schedule or meet up, having some accountability might encourage you to pick up the book more. For me, being in a group where people are always posting what they are enjoying or getting out of the book motivates me to read more.
Track it. Once you start tracking your reading you become more aware and therefore read more. If you start a habit tracker then it reminds you to do your reading for the day or you might see that streak you don’t want to break. Another fun way to track your reading is to keep a notebook of what you have read and see all the books you read over the year.
Bonus!! Schedule it!! Decide a time and make it a reoccurring appointment with yourself. If you know you have a meeting coming up then you set up the day to accommodate to that meeting. You are important and should make time for yourself too.
Hopefully these were some new ideas of ways you can add more reading into your day. You know reading is important so make it happen!
Have you ever memorized a scripture? Maybe later you recalled it in a time of need or were able to share it with a friend to lift you both. Maybe you use it as a mantra. Does having something powerful memorized lift your mind and heart? Today I have a suggestion for you to share this power with your children. Scripture is great and I might do a post on some great scriptures to memorize but for this one I want to talk about the power and benefits of children memorizing poetry.
Why memorize poetry?
Fill their minds and hearts with what is good and beautiful. There is so much filthy, vulgarity, and light mindedness. We need to combat that with meaningful, heart softening, and sincere works.
Whenever they are 'bored' or have nothing much to do, they will at least have 'friends' to keep them company. They will have powerful thoughts to ponder. People do not THINK anymore. We are so bombarded with screens and the need to be entertained that we simply do not use our brains anymore. I do not want my children to become silent sheep led to the slaughter. I do not want them pacified. I want them to think for themselves and question the status quo.
There is the saying Garbage in, Garbage out. And a dear mentor of mine changed it to Good in, Good out. So what are we putting into our children? Memorizing poems puts in some of the best ideas, literary devices (such as alliteration, illusions, imagery, metaphors), and vocabulary. Memorizing poems creates a vast store of understanding and great ability to use English syntax. With these great works floating around in their heads what do you think will come out? Their writing and speech will be elevated. They will have a better grasp of the English language and be able to write with greater rhythm and beauty. Want them to write better? Memorize more poems. (And read great books. Good in good out still works there too)
I mentioned vocabulary. Why not just read books to gain a better vocabulary? Or write out definitions? So fun and effective right? The benefit to having poems memorized is that they will have those rich words stored and understood from pondering and discussing. They are more a part of them and not likely to be forgotten but eagerly used. Also, having an abundance of vocabulary allows them to better understand more difficult and complex literature in the great books they will read later. Because we are always reading and trying to get better, right!
Speaking of reading books. I greater grasp of language and a familiarity with pondering meaning and ideas, children will better understand and gain from the books they are currently reading. Maybe a passage will remind them of a poem. Or even just a literary device will cause a pause in reading to stop and ponder the meaning or idea and allow greater influence on the heart and person.
Thoughts before you get started
First off, consider the age of the child(ren) you are working with. Three and under I would stick to nursery rhymes or very short and clear poems. The nice thing about nursery rhythm is that most are set to a tune that helps in memorizing as well as makes them more appealing to young children. They are not intimidating. They also get your children used to memorizing, rhythm, and structure of a poem.
Ages 3-6, you could start with longer ones. Robert Louis Stevenson has some great ones that talk about animals or nature that help the children to see what they are talking about and aren't ones with lots of symbolism that might be confusing. Poems that tell stories are also good because they are easier to memorize too because they know what comes next in the story which helps them think about how it was said.
Ages 6-10 you can get into Shakespeare and more abstract or complex poems. I suggest though that if you or they are not used to memorizing poems, that the more complex the subject matter or vocabulary, the shorter the poem until you get more comfortable and familiar with the rhythm and what not. Also, if not used to poetry and memorizing, start with the familiar. There might be some push back if you start with some crazy obscure Shakespeare if they have never heard any poetry. But if it is a subject that they enjoy or an excerpt from a story they like, or if you can find it in picture book form then it become more friendly and enjoyable.
I will be posting later some of our favorite poems or other poems you might want to use for you poetry memorizing.
Ways to encourage poetry memorization is to let them see you memorizing too.
Let them hear you practice while you cook or clean.
Let them hear you share how excited you are that you finished memorizing a stanza.
Let them see you writing down some favorite poems in your notebook (or create a poetry notebook of just the best poems)
Then see if they want to create their own book of poems. Add drawings, pictures, stickers. Anything to get them comfortable and familiar with poetry.
Share your current memory work at lunch or dinner. Go around and share what everyone is working on.
Then when everyone is comfortable maybe make a special poetry tea time to recite and share thoughts that came to you.
Share how the poem means more to you now that you have pondered it and have it in your heart.
Share how you pulled on a poem you have previously memorized to get you through a tough time.
Share Share Share! The more they see you doing it the more normal and natural it is for them to do it.
The next month I upped it to two servings of vegetables a day. And then my dear sweet sister-in-law whom I adore introduced me to a podcast which talked about having EIGHT to NINE servings of vegetables a day!!! I thought, "WHAT?!?! How in the world?!?! I can barely do two, let alone NINE!!! I would be too full. That sounds expensive. I would be cooking all day. What do you eat? A salad for every meal?" And all the excuses started to roll in.
Do you eat a serving of vegetables everyday? No, potatoes (fries) don't count. Or do you mostly consist on grains and dairy and/or meat? That was me at the beginning of the year and I decided to start small and just have one serving of vegetables a day. Just ONE. It can't be that hard, right? I couldn't believe how difficult it actually was. I think it took me a month of consciously trying before I was able to manage it.
But guess what, you don't have to start at eight servings a day. Start where you are. I love that phrase. I have been using it a ton. Like, every time I go to write a blog post and think of how incompetent I am. I have to remind myself, Start where you are.
Thankfully there are some great reasons behind eating so many vegetables a day. One of my favorite is that for every serving of fruit or vegetables we eat, the risk of all-cause mortality goes down five percent! That is a good enough reason for me to pick the apple over the pretzels. Vegetables can also help reduce diabetes risk, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune disease, osteoporosis, cancer and obesity. There was even a study done that pretty much said the more fruit and vegetables you eat, the less risk of depression! It pretty much makes your life better in every way to eat more vegetables.
And don't feel like you are stuck eating a salad for every meal. Or eating a vegetable you don't like for the sake of being healthy. There is a huge variety of fruits and vegetables out there and half the fun is trying new ones or new ways of cooking to see what you like best. I personally LOVE Brussels sprouts, though my husband is not a big fan. On the flip side, he can eat green bell peppers raw and the flavor is just too strong for me. My mom thinks that boiled okra is disgusting so we roast them instead.
Try different flavors with your veggies. We love Mexican food but I recently found a Pakistani dish that uses seasonings I never would have thought to use and it is DELICIOUS!!
Fruit counts too!! We all know berries are great for you and are lower in sugar than other fruit so it is a win-win!
What makes a serving?
The World Health Organization defines a serving as 80 grams raw, or just shy of 3 ounces. This comes out to roughly 1 cup raw vegetables, 1/2 cup cooked vegetables, a medium fruit or 2 cups for leafy greens.
Some ways I have added veggies to my diet
I will cut up and saute an onion with either Brussels sprouts, spinach, or kale, with some eggs in the morning. This starts the day with about 3 servings of veggies!
Having cooked or raw veggies on hand to snack on like carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans. I have made a deal with my kids that they can have a peanut butter and honey sandwich for lunch as long as they pick out two veggies to go with it.
Having some dip increases children’s likelihood of eating veggies too.
Having them already cooked makes them more accessible as well as more appealing, in my opinion. Plus it gives a chance to add some healthy fats, so slather on that grass-fed butter!
I add avocado to just about EVERYTHING!! And 1/3 of a medium avocado counts as a serving so it is an easy way to add a serving of vegetables. (Side note, my father’s heart doctor just told him to eat more avocado as it helps with circulation. Finally! Doctors are catching up to food being a healing medicine!)
I also add a handful of lettuce/spinach/spring mix to most savory foods as well. Even spaghetti. It isn’t really a ‘salad’ per se but just a way to eat greens while eating something else and not having just leaves in my mouth but still eating them.
I LOVE Stuffed Sweet potatoes. I will be doing a recipe on that soon because we have it so often and it is super tasty and pretty easy to make. You basically stuff a sweet potato like a regular baked potato but with a twist.
Obviously smoothies are a great way to sneak in veggies without feeling like you are eating them. A giant handful of spinach blends in without any flavor, in my opinion. I have heard that celery blends in well but that vegetable is nasty so I won’t be trying it but if you want I won’t stop you.
You can get adventurous and switch out foods too. Cauliflower has to be the most diverse and can be made into just about anything. Mashed potatoes, rice, mac and cheese, pizza crust, sauce bases, risotto, tots. I usually do zucchini noodles for our spaghetti. Spaghetti squash has been around longer and might be more acceptable to some. It makes a great base for a burrito bowl. Cabbage leaves can be used as cooked wraps. Get creative and try those recipes!
We all know that we need to eat more vegetables. I don't think we realize how much we need them but also how easy it is when we put in a little effort. Aim for at least five servings but upwards of eight or nine is best. But if you have to start at one and work up that is fine! Your body will thank you for your effort. And your future self and your family will too.
How many of us have made a goal like, I want to be a better mom? I want to be more playful? Or the infamous, I want to eat healthier? You want to become better in some way. We know what it means, or do we? How do we know if we met or goal? So often I will make a goal but there isn't really a way to make it Specific or Measurable. There are not tasks to check off or really even an ending point. And it isn't like there is a deadline to say when it is done because we are always trying to grow and become better. And we are not always on an upward growth pattern. Sometimes we slip or have a bad day, week, or month. So how can we make and achieve these vague but still very important goals? Habit trackers!!
What is a Habit Tracker?
Habit Trackers are simply a place to track a habit or action, usually over a month time frame. You make a list of actions you want to do and how often and then, either when they are completed or at a designated time, you mark that you completed (or didn’t do something if that is your goal).
Use habit trackers to achieve your quality goals
Provide Clarity
They help to see more clearly the bigger picture than when you are deep in the trenches. It is hard to see past the diapers, late nights, and tantrums to know if we are making progress. Tracking habits allows a more realistic view of how you are doing and where you can improve. Plus, I like visuals, lists, and checking things off.
Calculating at the end of the month and seeing a percentage can give even more clarity. Looking at the chart might look one way, but then looking at the numbers can show you exactly how you did and if you improved. This also helps to make a vague, non-quantifiable goal quantifiable.
Versatile
Trackers can come in many shapes and styles to fit your need. They can be as simple as a monthly calendar on your fridge and you cross out the days you accomplished your goal. Having it on your fridge helps you see it and reminds you. Or you can make a fancy page in your bullet journal with a list of all your habits. Something I ran into with ‘traditional’ trackers is that what I was tracking was more than just a yes or no. The nice thing about making your own, rather a monthly calendar, or a chart or whatever, is that you can add a number! Cups of water, miles walked ran or steps for the day, veggies eaten that day, or even on a scale of 0-10 on staying calm. If you forget to use it, there is always next month to try again. Maybe set a reminder on your phone. Find what works for you.
Motivating
Something interesting happens that once you start tracking habit. All of a sudden you are more aware of them and you tend to be better about doing them. Maybe it gets to the end of the day and you realize when you are checking off your habits that you haven’t brushed your teeth yet and can run off and do that real quick. Plus there has to be some endorphins that go off when you check a box. Then you begin to see progress over time and think, “Hey, I AM doing it!” and want to keep that going. Or you see that you have a streak going and you don’t want to break it.
Reminders
Sometimes we tend to just forget! We get to the end of the day and think, “Wait, now how many glasses of water did I drink?” or “Oops, I forgot to brush my teeth, again” or is that last one just me? It is good to just a have reminder of the little things in the day to keep slowly making progress.
Tips
If you have more than 5 things, make their own list away from your daily to do list. That way you have the tasks you would like to do on a regular basis without getting it mixed with the other tasks of the day making it look like a forever long list and becoming overwhelmed.
You can start with one or two when you start. But if you are like me you can make a laundry list of things you know you ‘should’ do every day. Try to resist the urge to do it all. Start small, or at least include things that you are doing well so that you start from a place of success and build from there. This isn’t to overwhelm you.
Don’t aim for 100% in all of your habits! You could say that you want to achieve 50% in one habit and 90% in another. Because we all know we can't do ALL the things all the time. Plus, you might be better at something then another and it would be exhausting to try to make 100 in everything. Plus, things happen. My husband often commandeers my days and nothing I planned for gets done. So, give yourself some grace and shoot for progress not perfection. And having those numbers can help you see better that progression. Say you did 30% this month and can shoot for 40% next month. Only hit 35%? Hey! That's still progress!! Great job.
Is there an action you can take or stop doing that you can track? Maybe you went all day without yelling. Or you played with your kids today. Think of one action you could challenge yourself with that will help you become more of what you are trying to be. Then for a month track that thing. Breaking down habits that we need in order to be the person we want to be and being mindful will help us get closer to our goal. You CAN do this!! You can get better and better. Slow progress is still progress. How would you like to improve? What simple task can you do to get you there and start tracking it.
Thanksgiving is coming, as I am sure you are all aware. I am choosing to ignore Halloween because it is probably my least favorite holiday. Go ahead and grab your torch and pitchfork. I know people get pretty amped up for Christmas as well but I feel like poor Thanksgiving kind of gets put on the back burner a little bit.
I am trying, a tiny bit, to be more intentional about holidays and traditions. We always say we need to be grateful all year and some people post everyday a gratitude post on social media, but other than that, and a huge gluttonous meal, Thanksgiving doesn't have a whole lot to do around it or ways to 'celebrate' it.
This year I am going to try incorporating gratitude with my children by creating a Gratitude Tree. We will have a tree set up on the wall and everyday each of us will write on a leaf what he or she is grateful for that day and put it up on the tree. That way we think everyday of something, as well as look at it throughout the day. I am pretty excited to see the tree grow day by day and to have a short time to slow down and just be grateful.
Then after Thanksgiving dinner we can go over what we wrote and then play in the leaves. Throw them up in the air, or make a pile and jump in them. Something to make it fun and enjoyable for the kids and not always so serious.
Other ideas for doing a tree is thumbprints onto a paper tree. Then write on the thumbprint-leaf what the person is grateful for. This makes for a smaller tree that you can keep and see their cute tiny thumbprints as they grow.
I have also seen pipe cleaner trees using buttons as leaves. This makes a great fine motor activity as well. Or if you are in an area that already has a lot of fallen leaves, you could make a nature outing of collecting leaves and using real leaves on your tree. I think this would make an adorable tree! What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year! I would love to hear how you celebrating in the comments below.
Whatever you decide to do for Thanksgiving this year, I hope it is filled with love, family, and gratitude. Remember how blessed you truly are, and share that joy and love with those around you.
