I am an avid reader. I love getting books. I love looking at and thinking about books. A phrase you may often hear from me is "BOOOOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!!" sung in a high pitched voice. Being near my very full bookshelf is my happy place. Mmmm... I feel joy just thinking about it.
Earlier this year however, morning sickness hit and all I wanted to do was just lie on the couch and moan and die. I figured I wasn't doing anything but lying there, what a perfect time to read or even just listen to an audiobook. But no; even that was too much for me. The thought killed me inside to not be involved in a book of some sort. Even a short podcast would be better than nothing. Oh no. I was too far gone.
For about three months I read nothing but the occasional kids book to my children. When I started to feel a bit better I was at a loss for how to start again. I wasn't in the mood for my usual heavy literature and self improvement because what good would it do me if I couldn't apply what I was learning? I was still too sick and it felt like it would be a waste.
I used to only read Young Adult fiction but I slowly worked up to my 'more mature' tastes now. And actually reading teen fiction seems like a waste of time now. I know some great people that can read it and get lessons and fulfillment from it, but it's not for me anymore. So, I unconsciously made a bare minimum. I still wanted to read but not just anything. I looked at what was still considered a classic, but easier and more entertaining, and read that.
Back to my funk. I still wanted to grow and be edified without feeling like I wasn't doing enough. So, I picked up A Little Princess by Frances Hogsden Burnett. It is on the Thomas Jefferson Education classics list and I had heard a bit about how great it was but nothing about the story itself. It had been quite some time since I had picked up a fiction book but I felt like I could at least manage this, since it was still considered a classic.
Oh how glad I am I made that first step and effort. A Little Princess is a DARLING story and it got me back into wanting to read again. I couldn't put it down! I think next I read one of the Penderwick books and then A Wrinkle in Time though neither really came close to the caliber of A Little Princess but I had my fire rekindled and was able to manage getting through them and enjoy them. Now that the pump has been primed I am ready to get back into my more meaty books and podcasts. But I also have a better respect for 'lighter' books, as well as respecting the season of life we are in.
Taking that first step is so important. I easily could have continued to think that 'Wo is me' and 'life it too hard so why try.' I am really great at coming up with excuses and blaming others (ask my husband and father-in-law). So to be able to take responsibility for my actions and education was, and is, so important. And not only did I need to get back into reading for me, but so that my children see that I value reading, and learning, and growing; even when it is hard.
Taking a small step, even if it isn't the ideal end that you can't reach yet, helps get you on the path to the ideal. No one can go from where they are to where they want to be in one step. Unless it literally is one step, but you get what I'm saying. It takes time, energy, practice, and often failing. Making mistakes is where we learn, but that is another blog post in itself. What I am saying here is that even if that first step to get you out of a funk doesn't look like what you want it to be, if it helps, then do it! Apply using your bare minimum to raise up, even just a tiny step. Today is not forever. You will get better only if you start and try.
Something else that is important to remember is that things change. Before a shift you might have had a rhythm or routine or at least had something figured out. But now that things are different, as life changes, remember that what worked before might not work now. For me, I was working through a Mentoring in the Classics curriculum and had some good motivation and order. But now I feel different and have different desires and you can't force yourself to learn something (that really sticks and changes you). I know I will come back to it eventually when the time is right. Maybe I will pick up the next classic and just try because I need that first step. But for now, life is different and changing and my habits and expectations need to as well.
So, if you have hit a slump or are maybe stuck in a rut, just find that next baby step to get out. Do it! It doesn't have to be perfect, or a lot. Don't be discouraged. Life happens, don't let it keep you down. You've got this!
No comments:
Post a Comment