Gratitude tree

Thanksgiving is coming, as I am sure you are all aware. I am choosing to ignore Halloween because it is probably my least favorite holiday. Go ahead and grab your torch and pitchfork. I know people get pretty amped up for Christmas as well but I feel like poor Thanksgiving kind of gets put on the back burner a little bit.

I am trying, a tiny bit, to be more intentional about holidays and traditions. We always say we need to be grateful all year and some people post everyday a gratitude post on social media, but other than that, and a huge gluttonous meal, Thanksgiving doesn't have a whole lot to do around it or ways to 'celebrate' it.

This year I am going to try incorporating gratitude with my children by creating a Gratitude Tree. We will have a tree set up on the wall and everyday each of us will write on a leaf what he or she is grateful for that day and put it up on the tree. That way we think everyday of something, as well as look at it throughout the day. I am pretty excited to see the tree grow day by day and to have a short time to slow down and just be grateful.

Then after Thanksgiving dinner we can go over what we wrote and then play in the leaves. Throw them up in the air, or make a pile and jump in them. Something to make it fun and enjoyable for the kids and not always so serious.

Other ideas for doing a tree is thumbprints onto a paper tree. Then write on the thumbprint-leaf what the person is grateful for. This makes for a smaller tree that you can keep and see their cute tiny thumbprints as they grow.

I have also seen pipe cleaner trees using buttons as leaves. This makes a great fine motor activity as well. Or if you are in an area that already has a lot of fallen leaves, you could make a nature outing of collecting leaves and using real leaves on your tree. I think this would make an adorable tree! What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year! I would love to hear how you celebrating in the comments below.

Whatever you decide to do for Thanksgiving this year, I hope it is filled with love, family, and gratitude. Remember how blessed you truly are, and share that joy and love with those around you.

How to Get Out of a Slump

Have you ever had a passion or love of something but got into such a slump that you couldn't do it anymore? Just me?

I am an avid reader. I love getting books. I love looking at and thinking about books. A phrase you may often hear from me is "BOOOOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!!" sung in a high pitched voice. Being near my very full bookshelf is my happy place. Mmmm... I feel joy just thinking about it.

Earlier this year however, morning sickness hit and all I wanted to do was just lie on the couch and moan and die. I figured I wasn't doing anything but lying there, what a perfect time to read or even just listen to an audiobook. But no; even that was too much for me. The thought killed me inside to not be involved in a book of some sort. Even a short podcast would be better than nothing. Oh no. I was too far gone.

For about three months I read nothing but the occasional kids book to my children. When I started to feel a bit better I was at a loss for how to start again. I wasn't in the mood for my usual heavy literature and self improvement because what good would it do me if I couldn't apply what I was learning? I was still too sick and it felt like it would be a waste.

I used to only read Young Adult fiction but I slowly worked up to my 'more mature' tastes now. And actually reading teen fiction seems like a waste of time now. I know some great people that can read it and get lessons and fulfillment from it, but it's not for me anymore. So, I unconsciously made a bare minimum. I still wanted to read but not just anything. I looked at what was still considered a classic, but easier and more entertaining, and read that.

Back to my funk. I still wanted to grow and be edified without feeling like I wasn't doing enough. So, I picked up A Little Princess by Frances Hogsden Burnett. It is on the Thomas Jefferson Education classics list and I had heard a bit about how great it was but nothing about the story itself. It had been quite some time since I had picked up a fiction book but I felt like I could at least manage this, since it was still considered a classic.

Oh how glad I am I made that first step and effort. A Little Princess is a DARLING story and it got me back into wanting to read again. I couldn't put it down! I think next I read one of the Penderwick books and then A Wrinkle in Time though neither really came close to the caliber of A Little Princess but I had my fire rekindled and was able to manage getting through them and enjoy them. Now that the pump has been primed I am ready to get back into my more meaty books and podcasts. But I also have a better respect for 'lighter' books, as well as respecting the season of life we are in.
Taking that first step is so important. I easily could have continued to think that 'Wo is me' and 'life it too hard so why try.' I am really great at coming up with excuses and blaming others (ask my husband and father-in-law). So to be able to take responsibility for my actions and education was, and is, so important. And not only did I need to get back into reading for me, but so that my children see that I value reading, and learning, and growing; even when it is hard.

Taking a small step, even if it isn't the ideal end that you can't reach yet, helps get you on the path to the ideal. No one can go from where they are to where they want to be in one step. Unless it literally is one step, but you get what I'm saying. It takes time, energy, practice, and often failing. Making mistakes is where we learn, but that is another blog post in itself. What I am saying here is that even if that first step to get you out of a funk doesn't look like what you want it to be, if it helps, then do it! Apply using your bare minimum to raise up, even just a tiny step. Today is not forever. You will get better only if you start and try.

Something else that is important to remember is that things change. Before a shift you might have had a rhythm or routine or at least had something figured out. But now that things are different, as life changes, remember that what worked before might not work now. For me, I was working through a Mentoring in the Classics curriculum and had some good motivation and order. But now I feel different and have different desires and you can't force yourself to learn something (that really sticks and changes you). I know I will come back to it eventually when the time is right. Maybe I will pick up the next classic and just try because I need that first step. But for now, life is different and changing and my habits and expectations need to as well.


So, if you have hit a slump or are maybe stuck in a rut, just find that next baby step to get out. Do it! It doesn't have to be perfect, or a lot. Don't be discouraged. Life happens, don't let it keep you down. You've got this!

What I Learned Learning to Cook

I must say that my cooking is amazing! I will sit to eat dinner some nights and I can't help but exclaim out loud, "dang this is good!" I don't say this to boast or brag but to tell you I haven't always been this good. Shoot, I could barely make a box of mac and cheese in my teens. The extent of my cooking skill was microwaving a bowl of ramen noodles. In high school I leveled up to those boxes of hamburger helpers.

I was relatively okay with my lack of skills until I started to seriously date my now husband. I realized, 'oh snap, I might be a wife soon. I need to get my act together.' Neither of my parents ever really cooked nor taught me how. I had to learn it all on my own. But I never thought of that as an inhibitor; just that I needed to learn and only you can teach yourself, so I did.

Obviously I started simple. My first real meal was, I think, a broccoli and mushroom quiche or frittata. You know those egg pies. I was so proud of that quiche! With its chunks of Velveeta and all. I made it from beginning to end. Cooked the onions, mixed it up and baked it!

I remember visiting my future in laws (sans fiancé) and mother-in-law asking me to help cut up something. It was laughable how clueless I was at how to cut up vegetables. I'm sure she thought I was too incompetent to marry her son, it was that bad.

But I slowly practiced with simple recipes to build up skills of cutting, mixing, or cooking order, and even a bit of learning what flavors go well together. My mom got me a great cookbook that had simple recipes in it with great pictures to get me started. I had some flops and had to write notes in the book to remind me how to do it better. But it was so satisfying trying a recipe and it turning out pretty good.

I got better at seeing before trying a recipe if I would like it or not. Soon I was able to know if adding something or leaving something out was acceptable or even made it better. However, I never got the highly desirable skill of being able to open the fridge and put together odds and ends to make a meal. I attempted this very early in my marriage before very much skill in any area was developed. We had some leftovers of this which I mixed with some of that and baked it. Oh it was TERRIBLE!! Neither of us could eat any of it. Thankfully my husband has a good sense of humor and loves to bring it up every chance he can. I am terrified to try anything that's not a recipe or at least something I am very familiar with now.
But now I have been cooking and learning for over eight years. That means I am almost a master right? Halfway? But there are some things I learned along the way about learning a skill.

1.) Don't compare your beginning to someone else's end!!

Or your worst to another's best. I remember looking at Hunny's mother and thinking I could never be like that. But not only has she had years more experience, she is also different from me, and she learned the skills she needed for her and her family. Her situation was different from mine and I will need to learn different things than she did.

2.) There is not a right or wrong way to learn.

 Part of my journey involved the embarrassing part of thinking margarine, tofu and low fat was healthy. I cringe to think of what we ate thinking it was good for us. And though I could say it was a wrong way of thinking it was part of my journey that helped me gain a better understanding elsewhere. Just like failure is a learning opportunity, embarrassing and 'wrong' practices can also be the beginning or way of learning something you couldn't have learned otherwise.

3.) You are never done learning, and if you think you are, find a way to use your skill to help and serve others.

It might seem like you are done learning or at least feel like you are satisfied with where you are in your journey, but there are always ways to improve. If you think otherwise, may I suggest you find a way to reach out and share your skill with others? Either to teach them or to serve them. Actually, find ways to use your skills for others all along the way, not just when you are done.

4.) Use what you've learned from one skill to apply to learning another. 

I have pulled on my lessons of learning to cook a lot when starting a new skill. Usually, I tend to forget where I started and how long it took to get to where I am. Remembering all the failed attempts and do-overs helps keep in perspective what it takes to learn a new skill. But being able to remember and say, "I have done it before I can do it again" also helps.

5.) It is never a waste.

 This is something that I worried about all the time. If food was thrown away because it was nasty then I wasted time and money. But my dear sweet husband points out that it is all just a learning experience. Don't worry if things don't turn out the way you had hoped. Take it as an opportunity to look at what went well and what you could do better. It is only a waste if you don't learn from it.


So I hope that as you are learning something new, you keep a good sense of humor and keep trying. Don't be discouraged and let go of perfect. Make mistakes and learn from them.

Bare minimum

 

I have discovered the importance of finding a bare minimum. Finding and setting a certain standard that, at a minimum, if accomplished, is acceptable to you.

Recently we moved temporarily into a tiny 'apartment' that has no stove or oven, and a TINY fridge. If I want to cook I go into our friend's house on the same property and use their kitchen. I don't like to impose by using their stuff in their space. Also, they might not have what I need or I can't find it and that makes it even more uncomfortable to have to bug them by asking. It is quite inconvenient. I could stress and worry and complain about not eating as well as I would like or I could throw it all to the wind and say, "well I can't eat healthy so I will just eat whatever I want, it's only for a month and a half." Instead, I could set a minimum acceptable standard based on the circumstances I am in and do what I can with what I have.

Finding and having a bare minimum keeps me from feeling like I'm not doing enough while keeping on track for goals and ideals I have for myself. But I also discovered that this idea can be used in many other areas! For instance, I was talking with my sister-in-law about her desire to homeschool; often homeschool moms try to do too much and I know she has health issues that have her down and without energy most of the time. I suggested she find a bare minimum to decide that, if nothing else but that got done, she did homeschool that day.

Another area a bare minimum could be applied is cleaning. I pretty much never deep clean so I pretty much live in bare minimum all the time, but it helps when sick or overwhelmed or having a busy day to have a bare minimum to make sure the house doesn't fall apart. Maybe it is a load of dishes, start the laundry, and clear the table. Whatever works for you to feel like something got done and you are ok going to bed without feeling like you didn't do enough.

Who else always feels the need to be doing more exercise? While I am pregnant or post-partum it hits me hard. I need to be walking at LEAST 10,000 steps everyday as well as muscle strengthening and prenatal yoga. That baby will be healthy and I will push her out easy and recover excellently. But real life says that ain't gonna happen! So finding an ideal, realistic, and bare minimum helps keep me moving and not get discouraged.
When I go on vacation with my family it is important to me to decide beforehand what we will still keep up with so we don't throw everything to the wind. Whether it be how we eat, exercise, finances, a bad day, etc., we should all be aware of a bare minimum that we are not willing to cross.

We can each apply this in many parts of our lives, in relationships, when we are sick, to finances, and so much more. Just pick one area where you might be struggling and work on finding a bare minimum that you won't cross, that if you make that, it was a good day or accomplishment.

Of course it doesn't have to be set in stone. Reevaluate where you are in life. We are only in this apartment a month and a half. Newborns are not newborns forever. You won't be sick forever, hopefully.

On an almost daily basis I will write out three things that will make that day a win. Then I know if I got those bare minimums done I don't feel the day was wasted, frittered, or lost.
Having a bare minimum could be called survival mode but I feel like it is more than that. It is more like the next step out of survival mode. Slowly increasing your bare minimum as you see fit to help you make and have a better life. I hope you find it helpful and decide on an area that needs a bare minimum to you on track and maybe step up your game and lift your spirits.

19 Before 2019, How Will You End the Year?

There is only 3 months left in the year!! It is the last quarter!! I love goals! Making and planning them and making layouts to track them and filling them in and seeing boxes fill up. But I am not always the best at making them all happen. Most of us make goals at the beginning of the year but they fizzle and are forgotten. That's why I think I prefer to have an idea at the beginning of the year but not have many that will take a year to complete. I will talk more about that idea and process later. But for now let's look at these next 3 months.

There is a great idea that's been around to make a goal list for the last three months with the last number of the new year. So 18 before 2018 and this year is 19 before 2019. I'm interested to see if it will stick around many more years. Maybe it will start over with the ones place and do 1 big goal before 2021. 2 before 2022 and so on. But I have enjoyed doing it the past 2 or so years and am excited to do it this year.

What can you do in these next 3 months? What do you want to do? What is going on in your life right now? What changes do you want to see? 3 months is a lot of time to make some changes. Habits are made in 3 weeks. I say more like a month but you know you best. Take the first month to make the habit and then really solidify it so it doesn't have to take up goals on the new year.

Or if your not needing a habit but have some projects you want to make progress in then remember you have 3 whole months before the new year! Don't just let these months fly by because of the holidays. They do take time, thought and preparation but not 3 months of all encompassing attention. You still need to take care of yourself.

Or maybe use the holidays are part of your goals. Maybe you could make a certain number of gifts. Or try to keep within a budget. Try to visit/contact so many people. Maybe you want to do a certain amount of crafts with the kids or make decorations for the house.

But you also need to remember it is only 3 months. Don't try to plan to do a year's worth of goals. Keep them realistic so you feel like you accomplished things and not beating yourself up for not doing enough.
For me 19 seemed like a lot. Especially with only 3 months to do them in. Try breaking down your goals over a few of them. Instead of one being 'Make 5 gifts' spread it over 5 of your goals.

Another idea is using this list to really hone in on those goals you made at the beginning of the year or earlier this year. Reevaluate where you are and what you have accomplished and what you can do. For example, I had terrible morning sickness for 3 months where I didn't want to do ANYTHING and got way behind on my books I want to read goal for the year. Rather than trying to cram in 6 months of reading in 3, I am looking at where we are in life and what I realistically do. What are some of your goals that may have fallen aside that you can pick up anew and finish the year strong?

If 19 scares you too much or you aren't super into making goals (great job making to the end of this post), make is just 9 before 2019. Even easier or a smaller step could be picking 3 areas of life and making 3 goals for each. That's much more manageable, right?


Here is my list of 19 before 2019

1.  Have 7 blog posts drafted. Not edited and ready, just a draft.

2. Read 10 books

3. Potty train my daughter 

4. Have a certain amount in cash/assets

5. Walk 50 miles

6. Night potty train my son

7. Index 5 times. 

8. Work on Family History 4 times 

9. Sewing project 

10. Sewing project

11. Sewing project

12. Sewing project

13. Start a new baby quilt

14. Finish my daughter's quilt

15. Blog up and public

16. Catch up on my son's journal

17. Catch up daughter's journal

18. Start Jellybean's journal (I'm pregnant)

19. Me, personally read 300 books to my daughter.